my best friend is tom, who i met in the first grade. he's got these big brown eyes that always seem to twinkle, and his hair is a mess of curly brown locks. we've been through so much together, like the time we both forgot our homework on the same day and had to stay after school. that was a disaster, but it made us laugh.
tom is a bit of a troublemaker, always finding ways to get into mischief. once, he hid my shoes in the classroom's ceiling just because i beat him in a game of tag. it took us half an hour to get them down, and the teacher wasn't too happy about it. but that's tom for you, full of surprises.
he's also incredibly kind-hearted. when i broke my arm playing soccer, he was the one who stayed by my side, reading me stories and bringing me ice cream. his compassion is something i truly admire. sometimes, though, his jokes can be a bit...odd. like the time he told me that elephants can fly if they eat enough bananas. i know it's not true, but it made me smile.
our friendship isn't perfect; there are misunderstandings and arguments. but we always find a way to make up. remember that time we fought over who was better at video games? it was silly, but we didn't talk for a whole day. the next day, he brought me a comic book as an apology, and we were friends again.
in conclusion, tom is more than just a friend; he's like a brother to me. our bond is strong, filled with laughter, adventures, and occasional mishaps. life would be dull without him.
老師評(píng)語：
本文情感表達(dá)生動(dòng)，個(gè)性鮮明，但存在一些小瑕疵。例如，“that was a disaster, but it made us laugh.”這句轉(zhuǎn)折不太自然，可以改為：“despite the inconvenience, it turned into a memorable moment that we still chuckle about.”
內(nèi)容亮點(diǎn)：
文章描繪了友誼的細(xì)節(jié)，生動(dòng)展現(xiàn)了人物性格，尤其是對(duì)tom的描繪，既有淘氣的一面，也有善良的一面，情感豐富。
優(yōu)化參考：
文章中“his compassion is something i truly admire. sometimes, though, his jokes can be a bit...odd.”這兩句話的過渡可以更流暢些，比如改為：“his compassion is admirable, and his quirky sense of humor never fails to amuse, even when he insists elephants can fly with enough bananas.'
批改后作文
my best friend, tom, with his twinkling brown eyes and unruly brown curls, has been my constant companion since primary school. one unforgettable incident was when we both left our homework behind, resulting in an impromptu study session after school. although it was a headache, it became a shared joke that still brings a grin.
tom, a master of pranks, once stashed my shoes in the classroom rafters just because i triumphed in a game of tag. retrieving them was a comedy of errors, yet it showcased his mischievous charm. his kindness, however, is what truly sets him apart. when i fractured my arm, he was my loyal bedside companion, narrating tales and soothing my pain with ice cream. his belief that elephants could fly on a banana diet might be absurd, but it always brings a smile to my face.
of course, we have our fair share of squabbles. a disagreement over video game prowess once led to a daylong silence. yet, the next day, tom's sincere apology with a comic book mended our rift, demonstrating the resilience of our friendship.
in essence, tom is not merely a friend; he's a brother. our bond, forged through laughter, challenges, and reconciliations, enriches my life. without him, my world would surely be less vibrant.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
建議多閱讀《哈利·波特》系列，學(xué)習(xí)如何塑造生動(dòng)的人物形象；《查理和巧克力工廠》能提供有趣的情節(jié)構(gòu)思；《小王子》則能幫助理解深層次的友情描繪。同時(shí)，回顧小學(xué)課本中的故事，如《三個(gè)好朋友》等，學(xué)習(xí)如何通過日常生活小事展現(xiàn)人物關(guān)系。
