title: my university life
my name is tom, and i'm here to share my university experience with you. it's been quite a roller coaster ride so far, full of ups and downs, just like any typical teenager's life, i guess.
i remember the first day vividly, stepping into that massive campus, i felt like alice in wonderland. the library, oh, it's huge! i thought i could get lost inside. i still do sometimes. and the dorms, they're not as cozy as my room back home, but they've become my second home. i've made friends from all over the world, and we have our own little quirks, like staying up late discussing meaningless things, or randomly ordering pizza at 2 am.
classes, well, they're challenging. there was this one time, i fell asleep during a lecture on quantum physics. i woke up to a sea of raised hands and a professor staring straight at me. that was embarrassing! but i learned, it's okay to struggle, as long as you keep trying.
sports are a big part of my uni life too. i joined the basketball team, even though i'm not exactly michael jordan. we don't win every game, but the spirit, the camaraderie, it's something else.
but, there are times when i miss home. homesickness hits hard sometimes, especially during holidays. but then, i remind myself, i chose this path for a reason. to grow, to learn, to be independent.
university isn't all fun and games. assignments pile up, deadlines loom, and the pressure to excel can be overwhelming. but it's also where i discovered my passion for photography. i love capturing moments, freezing time. it's my escape, my therapy.
life in university is a mixed bag, a blend of laughter, tears, confusion, and discovery. it's a journey, not a destination. and i'm excited to see where it takes me.
老師評語：
tom, your narrative is quite engaging, capturing the essence of university life. however, there are a few areas that need attention. you mentioned falling asleep during a lecture, but it would be more constructive if you elaborated on how you overcame such challenges. also, the transition between sports and homesickness could be smoother. lastly, while mentioning your passion for photography, describing a specific instance would make it more compelling.
內(nèi)容亮點：
your essay shows a good balance of humor and introspection, reflecting the complexities of university life. the analogy of university being a 'roller coaster ride' is particularly effective.
優(yōu)化參考：
the section about struggling in classes could be enhanced by sharing how you turned that experience into a learning opportunity. for instance, 'after that embarrassing incident, i started setting alarms to stay alert during lectures, turning each class into a focused learning session.' regarding homesickness, you could say, 'during holidays, i cope by video calling my family, sharing my university adventures, which helps bridge the distance.'
批改后作文
my name is tom, and i dive into my university journey, a blend of triumphs and trials. remembering my first day, i felt like a novice stepping into a vast new world, akin to alice in wonderland. the library, an intimidating labyrinth, has now become my sanctuary of knowledge. dorm life, initially foreign, has fostered friendships that transcend borders. late-night conversations and impromptu pizza feasts have become our signature rituals.
academics have been a steep learning curve. once, i nodded off during a quantum physics lecture, a moment i now laugh at. it served as a reminder to prioritize rest for better focus. to counter future lapses, i started using alarms and taking notes actively, transforming each class into a purposeful learning exercise.
sports, especially basketball, provide a much-needed respite. our team's spirit, despite occasional losses, mirrors the essence of unity. photography, my newfound passion, captures these moments, serving as a creative outlet during stressful times. one snap, capturing the golden hour on campus, made me realize the beauty in everyday moments.
university life, while challenging, is a transformative journey. homesickness creeps in, but i cope by sharing my experiences with loved ones through virtual connections. each obstacle, from missed lectures to homesickness, shapes me, pushing me towards growth and independence.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
to enhance your writing, consider reading "the freshman"s guide to college" by kelli marshall and "on writing well" by william zinsser. also, studying descriptive essays in english literature classes can improve your narrative skills.
