my favorite animal
i love animals, and among all of them, i adore dogs the most. dogs are not just pets, but also loyal friends. they have four legs, a wet nose, and a wagging tail that always makes me smile. once, i had a dog named max. he was a golden retriever, with fluffy fur as bright as the sun. max was so smart, he could fetch my slippers when i asked him to. but sometimes, he would misunderstand my commands, like the time when i said 'sit' and he stood up, or 'stay' and he ran away. it was funny, yet confusing.
one day, max disappeared. i searched everywhere for him, in the park, under the bed, even in the neighbor's garden. i cried so much, my tears could fill a small pond. after a week, max came back, dirty and tired, but safe. from then on, i realized how much i valued his presence.
dogs are amazing creatures. they can sense our emotions and comfort us when we're sad. they don't judge, they just love unconditionally. that's why dogs are called man's best friend. if i could, i'd have a house full of dogs, each with their own unique personality, like max, the mischievous one, or bella, the quiet observer.
in conclusion, dogs are more than just pets. they're companions, protectors, and sources of joy. their love is pure, and their loyalty unmatched. i'm grateful for every moment i spent with max, and i look forward to meeting more furry friends in the future.
老師評語：
the essay showcases a genuine affection for dogs, revealing personal experiences and emotions effectively. however, there are a few areas needing refinement. the transition from max's return to the broader appreciation of dogs could be smoother. also, the sentence 'if i could, i'd have a house full of dogs' seems abrupt, lacking context.
內(nèi)容亮點：
the vivid description of max and the author's emotional attachment to him are the highlights. the use of personal anecdotes adds depth and authenticity to the narrative.
優(yōu)化參考：
the paragraph about max's disappearance could be expanded, detailing the feelings during the search, making it more impactful. the sentence about having a house full of dogs could be integrated into a reflection on the qualities of dogs that make the author want more of them.
批改后作文
i love animals, and among all, dogs hold a special place in my heart. with their four agile legs, eager noses, and tails that never cease to wag, they embody friendship. my golden retriever, max, was a bundle of sunshine. his fluffy fur shimmered like the morning sun, and his intelligence often amazed me. once, i asked him to 'sit,' and he stood tall, or to 'stay,' and he'd dash away, leaving me in splits.
then, max vanished. i scoured every corner, from the nearby woods to the neighbor's porch, my heart heavy with worry. my tears, like a stream, reflected my sorrow. a week later, max reappeared, exhausted but safe. that incident taught me the depth of my bond with him.
dogs are remarkable beings, empathetic to our moods. their comforting presence and unconditional love are unparalleled. imagine a home brimming with dogs, each with its own distinctive character - max, the prankster, and bella, the watchful soul. such a thought fills me with joy, emphasizing the role dogs play in our lives.
in retrospect, dogs are more than mere pets; they're confidants, protectors, and an endless source of happiness. each encounter with them, like the time with max, enriches our lives. i cherish those moments and eagerly anticipate more encounters with these loyal friends.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
to improve, consider reading books like "the art of racing in the rain" by garth stein or "a street cat named bob" by james bowen. these narratives explore deep human-animal connections and can help refine storytelling skills. also, revisiting english grammar lessons and practicing descriptive writing exercises will aid in refining sentence structure and clarity.
相關(guān)詩句
1. 伯鸞長嘯出東都，來卜龍邱二畝居。千歲仍昆作英語，五噫文采尚周馀。胸中萬卷未得力，堂下一言誰識渠。我亦微官方冷甚，恨無燕玉可相噓。
